Divorce Do's and Don'ts
Posted on Sep 16, 2013 10:33am PDT
Are you looking to file for
divorce in California? The divorce process brings out heightened emotions and
frustrations out of people and it makes it very easy for people to get
angry and act out in the moment; however, when children are involved in
the divorce, it is very important for parents to keep their cool and think
of the consequences of their actions before they take action.
Just because you and your spouse are filing for divorce does not mean that
your family is coming to an end. Co-parenting is attainable after a divorce
and it is typically more beneficial for the children when the parents
share parenting responsibilities. Divorce can be especially difficult
for children to understand and the transition can be tough. If you want
to avoid family dysfunction and move forward as one family unit, then
you should be aware of the divorce do's and don'ts. The following
are helpful guidelines for you to keep in mind as you go through the divorce process:
Do's – What to Do in a Divorce Case
- Do create a united front with you and the other parent so that the children
respect your decisions
- Do set household rules so that the children feel they are in a stable,
safe environment
- Do try and keep to a routine so that the children have stability and structure
in their life
- Do avoid playing the blame game by putting down the parent
- Do focus on how to resolve problems and conflict in a calm fashion
- Do address any behavioral issues when the children act out. This is typically
an outward expression of their emotional distress regarding the divorce
and it should be addressed.
- Do encourage the child to have a meaningful relationship with the other parent
- Do make sure that the child does not feel like a stranger or visitor in
your home. Try to make sure that they have belongings at both homes if
they go back and forth between both parents.
- Do reinforce that the divorce is not their fault and that you will love
them no matter what
- Do explain changes in advance that will occur in their schedule and routine
so that they can be prepared
- Do make your parenting plan child focused so that it meets their best interests
- Do check up on your children by talking with them and seeing how they are
coping with the transition
- Do focus on rebuilding your family even though the dynamic has changed
Don'ts – What Not to Do in a Divorce Case
- Don't put your children in the middle if you and the other parent are
experiencing conflict
- Don't fight with your ex-spouse in front of the children
- Don't talk ill of the other parent in front of the children
- Don't discourage your children from listening to the other parent
- Don't introduce a new significant other to the children for at least
six months after the divorce
- Don't use your children to relay messages back and forth between you
and the other parent
-
Don't refuse the other parent
visitation time if they are behind on
child support payments
- Don't talk to your children about your problems, this will only add
stress to their lives
- Don't try and represent yourself in a divorce case
- Don't be late when dropping off or picking up your children from the
other parent
- Don't hold onto to past hurt, try and move forward
- Don't be afraid to seek help- your attorney is there to help you get
through the divorce process and if you need someone to talk to, don't
be afraid to talk to a therapist about what you are feeling.
- Don't make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment- take time
to think about the consequences of your actions and how it will affect
your children later on.
Serving Families for Over 30 Years
Here at the
Law Office of Fritzie Galliani, APC, we are committed to helping families who are facing divorce and other
complex family matters. Our Pasadena divorce lawyer has more than three
decades of experience and is are well-versed in California family law.
If you want high caliber legal representation in your divorce case,
contact a Pasadena divorce attorney from our firm today!